Thoughts from the Librarian

    Why is it so hard for anyone nice and social to come to the library? I mean, it's really not that hard. All they need to do is walk in and say, "Hi Miss Scott, I need to check out a book," and then we'd get to talking and what do you know? I'd have a new friend. But no, no one comes in here. 

    That's me by the way. No one. The poor librarian, Miss Scott. The days here seem to go on forever. The only kids that I see coming into the library are the awkward geeky kids that only talk to themselves. It's really quite irritating. What I really want is for someone to come in and talk to me, whether it be student or teacher. I really don't have very many friends here. I guess that makes sense though because this is only the third week of my first year teaching here. "Here" is McGraw High School located in North Idaho. The teachers here seem nice, but I have yet to get to know them, which would be so much easier if I wasn't an introvert.

    I just moved here from a slightly larger town an hour south of here, so I don't have any friends at all. Look at me, such a sad sack. But don't worry, hopefully my life will get better. I like to think it will. My regular day is wake up ridiculously early, go to school, and go home. Sometimes I'll get crazy and go to the grocery store. But something about today feels different, maybe I got enough sleep, or maybe someone slipped me some drugs; either way, today was going to be different.
    I walk into the library and as per usual the same geeky boys sat at the same boring table. I began to have doubts about today being great. Just as I thought that, a teacher walked through the door; a handsome teacher. He walks right up to me, and I lose all control of conscious thought. I'm pretty sure I look like an idiot. Do you know what he said to me? Neither do I, but I'm pretty sure he asked about signing up to reserve the computer lab today. I gestured to the list to the right of me, still daydreaming about him, the next thing I know he's walking out the door. 

    I can't believe I just did that! Why can't I just be a normal person and speak to really cute boy? It's ridiculous. I sit the whole day, minus lunch and when someone was talking to me, thinking about him. His gorgeous blue eyes, short brown hair with longish bangs, his tall stature, and his smooth voice, or at least I imagined a smooth voice. 

    I walk over to the fiction section to the left of the front desk, eyeing the books. All of a sudden, last period of the day, thirty students shuffle noisily through the front door, talking and laughing loudly. Last through the portal to the real world (which is what I call the door) comes that same teacher. He kind of awkwardly shuffles through his messy folder and pulls out a stack of papers.

    "Okay guys, I'm going to pass out your assignment, follow the directions exactly, I will not answer questions so if you have one, ask the person next to you. But remember, this is a library, and we don't want to heart the book ears," he says. This last statement really catches my attention. 

    On my way back to my desk I glance at the computer lab schedule, and what do you know? there's a name in the seventh period slot. Mr. Cain. So that's his name! I had to get to know him so looking at his hands already tells me he's single, or at least not married, which is good for me. He starts humming a song I don't know. In an effort to make it look like I'm not staring I sit down at my computer and open to Facebook, plug in my headphones, and turn on some music, it's not like I have anything better to do. 

     Oblivious to me, he walks over to the front desk while I'm mouthing the words to my favorite song. Out of the corner of my eye I see him leaning on the chest high table, elbow on the wood and face resting on hand. He clears his throat and I look up, startled. As my face turns bright red I pull out my ear-buds.

     He says, "Hi, I'm Luke," and he extends the hand he was leaning on.

     I shake it and say awkwardly, "I'm Jane."

     "Well it's nice to finally meet you, this morning you seemed..."

     "Out of it? Yeah, crazy morning," I really didn't want him to know I was day dreaming about him. 

     He laughs, "yeah, out of it. I'm the choir teacher, by the way." 

     "Oh, I guessed that; I saw these kids in the back to school concert."

     "Yes, well we will get better, I promise," he smiled to reveal his beautiful slightly crooked teeth.
     "Oh, they really weren't that bad," again I smiled, not knowing what else to say. You see, I get awkward around boys that I'm not related to, especially cute ones.
     He laughed, "You don't have so kind. They were horrific," he said that just loud enough that the students in the row of computers closest to the desk overheard.
     One of them remarked, "Hey! we really weren't that bad!"
     Mr. Cain replied, "You weren't bad for the first concert of the year, but you WILL get better."